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‘Solo sex has been a great comfort over the last year’ (Picture: Getty Images/ Myles Goode)
Welcome to the latest instalment of How I Do It – the series that gives you a sneak peek into a week of a different person’s sex and love life.
This week, we have 25-year-old journalist Florence*, who wrote her first-hand account during the last lockdown.
Florence describes her relationship with sex as ‘healthy, positive, shame-free’, and she’s perfectly comfortable using masturbation as a form of self-care.
However, what she has been less happy with is the fact that lockdown separated her from the person she’d been dating.
How did Florence cope with the loneliness of lockdown? Let’s find out…
I’m missing my person. Solo sex has been a great comfort over the last year, but when you’re forming a new connection with someone, you can’t help but mourn the sex life you could be having.
I spoke to them on the phone and imagined their arms around me.
This actually made me feel more sad than sexy, so I drifted straight to sleep afterwards.
Today I used masturbation as a self-soothing technique – my go-to comfort over the last three lockdowns.
I lit my scented candles, dimmed the lights, put on my favourite sexy playlist and went to town with my vibrator.
I feel fulfilled afterwards, rather than lonely. Masturbation is so satisfying when I’m craving an orgasm rather than intimacy.
I’m three days away from getting my period. The lockdown horn is overwhelming.
I have a candlelit bath (something about being naked in candlelight makes me feel like a femme fatale) to get myself in the mood.
While I’m wet (pun intended) I take a few suggestive snaps for my person. It seems to do the trick for both of us.
I don’t wank, but I lie in bed and lose myself in fantasy. This is when I start to crave intimacy again.
I wish I was sharing this time with them. F*****g lockdown.
I masturbate briefly and absent-mindedly, then I go straight to sleep.
Sometimes self-love looks like this.
I find myself wine-drunk after a virtual pub quiz with friends.
There’s often a fine line for me between nice, bubbly, tipsy-horny and drunk-drunk. Right now, I’m the latter, so I go right to sleep.
Another FaceTime session with my person. This one lasts for hours.
It’s been two months since we last saw each other, and I want them more than ever.
But it’s more than that. For the first time, there’s no post-wank clarity after I’ve stopped sexting them.
With other people, I’d have my orgasm and leave it for a few days before contacting them again.
This isn’t the same. I want the falling asleep in each other’s arms. I want the aftercare. This often gets worse around my period.
I’m in the shower. The loneliness and lockdown horn are too overwhelming for me to feel precious about period masturbation.
I begin to realise just how much I’ve been doing it lately, definitely as a self-soothing technique. It’s a good thing I’m sex-positive.
I feel relieved afterwards, like it was something that had been building up for days.
I can’t help but wonder whether I’d feel the same after my first post-lockdown orgasm, hopefully lying next to another person.
I ruminate on this for a second, before going about my day. Loneliness is the backdrop to my regular routine – this is something I’ve adapted to.
*Names have been changed.
How I Do It
In Metro.co.uk’s How I Do It you get a sneak peek into a week of a person’s sex and love life – from vanilla love-making to fetishes, threesomes and polyamorous relationships, they reveal it all.
Fancy taking part yourself? Email [email protected] for more information.
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