How often should you have sex? (Picture: Getty)
Whether it’s a new relationship or a couple who have been together for decades, everyone’s sex life is different.
But if you’re keen, you might want to have sex every day or even multiple times a day.
And as long as both parties are happy to and it feels comfortable that shouldn’t be an issue.
There is no ‘normal’ amount of times to have sex though.
For a rough guide, a You Gov survey last year found 5% of people have sex more than four times a week.
4% had sex three times in the week before they were surveyed, 7% two times, 11% once and 30% had not had sex in the past week.
Some couples might do it several times a day, others might only get intimate once a month.
Some might go through periods where they can’t keep their hands off each other but then don’t have sex at all for a few months.
So many things can impact your sex drive and if you’re both feeling it every day, then it’s fine to just go for it.
Things to remember
Having sex has lots of benefits – it can help to reduce sex, an orgasm can help with pain and of course, it can build intimacy in relationship, so it’s no wonder you want to encourage those.
You should be safe though, make sure you’re using contraception to protect against STIs and pregnancy if needed, no matter how often you’re having sex.
The more often a heterosexual couple has sex, the more likely it is you could get pregnant.
If you are trying to conceive, you might end up having sex more often though, particularly around ovulation.
And anyone having sex every day might notice that your vagina or penis gets sore because of the friction. If this is the case, it might be a good idea to ease up for a day or two.
Sex doesn’t always have to be penetrative though – so be inventive and try something else if you’re horny but feeling a little sensitive.
Using lubrication can help to prevent soreness as if you have a lot of sex in a short space of time, it can be harder for your body to produce the moisture required.
If you are getting regular pain or a pain that doesn’t go away after a few days, it’s important to talk to your doctor.
Lots of sex and contact with body fluids can also knock the vagina’s pH level off, putting women at risk of thrush or UTIs. If you notice the symptoms of either of these, speak to a medical professional.
Don’t put yourself under pressure
While there is usually no physical reason you can’t have sex as often as you want, Kate Moyles, Sex & Relationship Expert for LELO UK says don’t put yourself under pressure to stick to a particular frequency.
She says: ‘Sex lives go in ebbs and flows, and we shouldn’t expect them to be constant, as when we do we can create ourselves extra stresses and anxieties when there are changes, about what it means that these changes are happening.
‘Rather than focusing on trying to objectively measure our sex lives based on regularity, try to focus on satisfaction and enjoyment, as regularity isn’t necessarily a guarantee of that.
‘That said for some people if regularity is an important part of their sex lives, there is likely to also be an important element of it being prioritised in their relationship and that being meaningful for them.’
Different sex drives
Just because you want to have sex all the time, it doesn’t mean your partner will want to and you need to keep checking in with them.
They might be keen to do it every day one week but the following week not want to at all and you shouldn’t assume anything.
Don’t take that as a reflection on you but try to discuss it and talk it through.
Kate adds: ‘Regularity of sex is about finding what’s right for you in your context, situation and relationship.
‘One of the more common struggles with couples presenting for psychosexual therapy is mismatched desire, but this is also possible to work on, by identifying the factors that trigger responsive desire for us.’
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