AS parents, we want the best for our children, and are usually happy for them to live with us until they get to a point where they’re ready to move out.
But one mother has taken to Mumsnet to complain that her 20-year-old son has extended his welcome at her home – mainly because he’s so disgusting to live with.
One mum has grown tired of her son’s lazy waysCredit: Getty
“He has always been lazy, he never bothered with school (he went, but only did what he needed to do), he doesn’t care about how he looks, spends all his money on s**te (thankfully not alcohol or drugs, but computer games, crisps, sweets, fizzy pop, biscuits etc) and generally just acts extremely immature,” she wrote in a post titled “I want my 20 year old son to grow up and leave home.”
Despite the fact that he’s studying at college to be a personal trainer, she said that he’s not particularly dedicated to his studies, and “doesn’t eat properly or train” so she and her husband “can’t see it going anywhere”.
“His room is disgusting and I mean disgusting,” she continued. “Whenever he opens his bedroom door, the smell that comes from it is terrible and even my younger children complain about it.
“He leaves clean clothes which I’ve washed and ironed on the floor in a pile, mixed with dirty clothes.
“He takes food upstairs and it gets left uneaten for days, so the plates are encrusted with food, he never uses a bin so the rubbish is scattered all over the floor.”
He shares a bathroom with his younger brother, but never cleans it, his mum continued, and leaves “smelly towels” and “empty shampoo/soap bottles” everywhere.
She added that one of the most difficult things to deal with is that he “constantly argues” with her and her husband.
“This is something he has always done, and it doesn’t matter what we do/say to him it doesn’t make any difference,” she wrote.
“I have tried helping him clean the room, to show how lovely it can be when it’s nice, it doesn’t matter, I have tried not cleaning his clothes, he just wears dirty clothes and will take his dads socks/underwear and wear that.
“We have tried speaking to him in a calm manner (I have been in tears in front of him), it doesn’t work, I have screamed and shouted at him, it doesn’t matter, nothing works.”
He recently got a girlfriend, which is parents had hoped would help him “buck up his ideas”, but it didn’t.
When they spoke to him about his girlfriend, he said that his “girlfriend’s room is like that too”.
“He has started to stay at his girlfriends parents house and whenever he is away, the calm that descends on the house is fabulous, and TBH I actually dread when he returns home,” she explained.
Despite talking to her son before, nothing has worked and always results in argumentsCredit: Getty
While he works, he does it round his college hours, and wants to spend as much time as possible with his girlfriend.
“He never has any money as he spends it all, so therefore he needs to ask me, and if I say I’m not giving you any money he just says, well I just won’t bother going to college or work,” she wrote.
“He also threatens not to babysit his younger siblings if I don’t give him money (we don’t have any other family that we could ask to babysit).”
Concluding her post, she wrote: “AIBU (am I being unreasonable) in feeling like this, can anyone give me any ideas as to how I can make his see what he is like.
“My other 2 children are not like this, they are the complete opposite.”
One person took to the comments section to suggest that the woman should kick her son out, to which she replied: “I have threatened him before that I would put him out the house, but he doesn’t bother. Whenever I’ve done that, my younger 2 get upset.
“He does pay rent, but we put this by for him as we don’t actually need the money (he doesn’t know we put the money by for him).”
“Call his bluff and stop giving him money at all,” someone else suggested.
“If he’s studying and working, he should be able to support himself and pay you rent.
“Put him on notice that if he doesn’t start doing that, he will need to move out and set a date when this will happen.
“He’s 20 years old, he needs to start taking responsibility for himself, and he needs tough love from you to make that happen.”
And someone else wrote: “It’s ultimatum time. Give him 2 months to get his s**t together, to sort out his room, to start being a proper member of your family.
“He has an income, if he wants to live in a pig sty he can go rent a room somewhere.
“You have a right to a pleasant peaceful home, your younger children deserve to live somewhere clean, tidy and not plagued by a selfish adult who causes arguments through his appalling disdain for your home and upsets you and your husband.”
In response to the comments, the woman replied: “I think I’m really going to have to just give him his marching orders.”
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