“MUMMY, I heard your poo land in the toilet” is a phrase no parent wants to hear their children say – especially when they’re out in public.
But for mum-of-three Katie Bowman, it’s one of the few mortifying remarks her children are “guaranteed” to make whenever she pops to a public loo.
Mum-of-three Katie Bowman can’t even go to the toilet without her children following her inCredit: Kidspot
In a personal essay for Kidspot.com.au, the Australian mum joked how her “bladder has been cursed with childbirth-itis” which means she needs to use public toilets more than she ever did before kids.
Explaining how she always tries finishing her household chores first, Katie wrote: “When I do finally reward myself with a toilet break, all my groupies huddle in with me.”
But while this is all fine when they’re at home, it’s when Katie’s in a public loo that it becomes an issue.
Although she asks her kids to wait outside the cubicle, they are unable to resist fiddling with the open button which is “perfect toddler height” before exposing her on the loo to everyone who just happens to be in the bathroom.
She joked: “You start having flashbacks to the day that button-pusher excited your vagina, as once again you are left in a vulnerable position with people gawking at you.”
But when you thought this scene couldn’t get any worse, Katie’s kids delight in telling her: “Mummy, you’re so smelly!
“Plonk! I heard your poo land in the toilet! Mummy, is your vagina drying?!”
She added: “They think you are the s*** and therefore must view your s***.
Plonk! I heard your poo land in the toilet! Mummy, is your vagina drying?!
“You barely have a chance to lift your a** off the seat before these tiny people start pushing you to the side just to get a little look-see.” *shivers*
Needless to say, Katie then tries to leave the bathroom without making eye contact with anyone who may have overheard the hilarious remarks.
And we thought the mum whose twin sons threatened to call 999 after seeing her “bleed out of her booty” had it bad…
Earlier this year, Katie shared an emotional picture taken just after the birth of her first child as she begged family members to give mums two days to bond with their baby.
The mum tries to ask her kids to wait outside – but they always find a way to break into the cubicleCredit: Kidspot
Katie wrote: ‘They think you are the s*** and therefore must view your s***.’Credit: Kidspot
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