FOR months, we’ve all been informed the New Yr can be a shiny new daybreak and all the pieces will begin to get higher.
Proper. So are you studying this within the pub together with your mates?
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We’ve all been informed the New Yr can be a shiny new daybreak and all the pieces will begin to get higher however you continue to cannot sit in a pubCredit score: Athena Image Company
Is the virus on the run?
Are you having some tasty British cod this night, washed down with some correct English wine?
Are the police herding these benefit cheats on the finish of your highway right into a windowless van?
Has the stockmarket soared to new heights?
Are the streets stuffed with completely happy, smiling folks singing I Vow To Thee My Nation?
I hate to say this, however 2021 will make 2020 seem like a stroll within the park.
I don’t see the lockdown ending for weeks or possibly even months.
And thru winter I can’t even start to think about what that can do to us.
It was one factor being locked up within the spring, when the solar shone and it was heat.
It’s fairly one other to be in forced hibernation when the temperature never gets above 1C.
And the sky makes you assume you’re residing in a Tupperware field.
I’ve been locked away for 2 weeks now and already I’ve drawn up plans to purchase a 3D printer so I could make a gun.
Many are pinning their hopes on the vaccines, however I imagine they may solely present safety for a really quick time frame.
I additionally assume Brexit will cause problems we haven’t even thought of but.
And I imagine the damage to our economy as we continue to fight an unwinnable war can be catastrophic.
Will there be any mild reduction?
Properly, ever since Boxing Day, journey firms have been carpet-bombing the industrial breaks with vacation vacation spot concepts.
However the fact is, you gained’t be going anywhere this summer.
The infinite risk of new travel restrictions will make it too dangerous.
And also you gained’t have the ability to afford it anyway.
Not after you lose your job.
You’ll be compelled to sit down at residence watching TV, which can be soul-destroying, as you watched all you needed to observe final yr.
And nothing new has been made.
Probably you’re being inspired to surrender consuming and get match for January.
However is that what you need?
To interrupt off from attempting to home-school the cell phone-holders you name your youngsters, so you possibly can drink water and do push-ups?
Simply excited about that makes me wish to take up heroin.
We have been informed within the first lockdown that some quiet time on occasion does us good.
That we’ll be refreshed if we sometimes sit in silence and focus on being “within the second”.
However after I sit in silence by myself, all I can ever assume is that I’d reasonably be “within the pub”.
However that’s not going to occur any time quickly.
We gained’t be seeing our associates.
We gained’t be seeing the solar.
And whereas we will get pleasure from some British cod, we’ll comprehend it was caught by a French trawlerman.
WE learn this week a few British boffin known as Clifford Johnson who’s employed by Hollywood manufacturing firms to verify the science in science-fiction movies isn’t full garbage.
He’s the person who makes positive algebra written on a blackboard at the back of shot is smart and that the fabric used to make Thor’s hammer is a theoretical chance.
A British boffin desires Hollywood to verify the science in science-fiction movies isn’t full garbage, pictured Star Trek’s Mr SuluCredit score: Alamy
Properly, now I have a job for him.
When a spaceship is underneath assault in any space-based motion film, the screens all the time say the identical factor: “SYSTEMS FAILING”.
And I all the time assume, “What methods?”
And the way can they be fastened, particularly because the display screen which Star Trek’s Mr Sulu wants to do this is getting used to inform him they’re failing.
An e-scooter rider in London’s Hyde Park was executed for drink driving and having no insurance coverageCredit score: Getty Photos – Getty
Completely happy Christmas to you too, officer.
AS Harry and Meghan wish to stay non-public, I’ve not listened to their new podcast.
WHO of their proper thoughts would drive Abbey Clancy to delete sexy holiday snaps taken whereas she enjoys some winter sunshine in Dubai?
We’re informed it’s “inappropriate” for celebs to be having fun with themselves when mere mortals are caught at residence.
Mannequin Abbey Clancy was slammed for posting photos of her household vacationCredit score: Instagram
However I’ll inform you what, if I’m going to be caught at residence, Abbey in a bikini makes a refreshing change from that speaking turtle who does the coronavirus charts on telly each night.
Hmmm. I ponder in the event that they’ve thought it by way of.
The Royal Navy has began to check an unmanned drone boatCredit score: Getty Photos – Getty
As a result of I worry they may encounter the identical issues that standard folks will face after they purchase a driverless automobile.
You ship it into city to do your procuring.
It finds its method very nicely, finds a parking house . . . after which what?
It goes into the store? I don’t assume so.
A name had gone out for the airplane to be intercepted by fighter jets, to escort it to the bottom.
The ski resort of Verbier gave holidaymakers 24 hours discover of a brand new lockdownCredit score: AFP or licensors
However there was an issue.
It was 6.02am and the Swiss Air Pressure didn’t begin work till 8am.
Italian and French fighters have been used to escort the airplane, and the Swiss have been left trying very silly.
Particularly after they went on to say their air drive doesn’t work at weekends both.
Or for 90 minutes a day at lunchtime.
This week, nevertheless, the Swiss introduced their air drive now has two jets on round the clock cowl.
However I nonetheless don’t assume their heads are in the correct place.
As a result of when the authorities within the ski resort of Verbier gave holidaymakers 24 hours discover of a brand new lockdown, they have been “stunned” when all of the British guests leaped into their automobiles and buggered off.
LIKE boy, I downloaded the NHS Track and Trace app when it got here on stream again in the summertime.
Right now, it’s nonetheless scanning the encompassing space 24 hours a day, able to alert me if I come into contact with somebody who’s contaminated with Covid.
The NHS app ought to alert me if I come into contact with somebody who’s contaminated with Covid nevertheless it hasn’t observed I had the virusCredit score: Reuters
Which is odd, as a result of two weeks in the past I caught Covid and it’s been in my pocket ever since, not noticing.
A POD of blue whales nobody knew about has been detected by marine biologists at work within the heat waters of the Indian Ocean.
They’re very excited and say they have to now keep within the space to do extra analysis.
Scientists have found a beforehand unknown pod of blue whales within the Indian OceanCredit score: Getty Photos – Getty
It makes me marvel.
Might there even be a pod of blue whales within the Humber Estuary?
I suppose we are going to by no means know, as a result of “marine biologists” don’t do any analysis there.
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