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DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband needed to convince me to try a foursome but now I’m hooked and he’s banned a replay.
He’s announced he doesn’t want to share our sex life with anyone else.
My husband convinced me to go swinging, now I’m hooked and he won’t do it again
I’m 30 and he’s 34.
We’ve been married for two years after a whirlwind romance. We’ve been having some problems and arguing a lot.
We used to have a really intense sex life but even that hasn’t been great recently.
To help turn things around, my husband suggested we try swinging and find a couple for a night of fun.
I wasn’t keen but he promised he’d look after me, so I eventually agreed.
We found a couple on a swinging website who looked like the sort of people we could be friends with.
We agreed to meet in a pub with the understanding that, if we all got on and fancied one another, we’d get together that night. I got really turned on when I put on my sexiest dress and underwear for the evening.
The other couple were lovely — not at all sleazy or scary, which is what I’d been worried about. After some drinks we went back to their place nearby.
I surprised myself because the sex was amazing.
I romped with either my husband or the other guy, and the other woman was with her husband or mine, while I watched. My husband seemed to love it too.
Now I’d like to swing regularly but my husband is completely against it.
He says it was just a one-off but I long for the attention and this type of no-strings sex.
The other couple are regular swingers and have told me I can join them whenever I like.
I don’t really want to go behind my husband’s back but the whole experience was such a big turn-on.
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DEIDRE SAYS: If you deceive your husband, you are risking your marriage.
Swinging may feel exciting at first but it does nothing to resolve the emotional and sexual problems in your marriage – in fact, it could make them worse.
Acting out fantasies often has unexpected repercussions and involving other people in your sex life easily leads to jealousy.
Ask your husband more about his feelings that evening. Did he feel threatened sexually or realise he hates seeing you with someone else?
Focus on your relationship with him and how you can both learn to communicate better. You got together very quickly and probably both have some adjustments to make.
My support packs Relationship MoT and 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will help.
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