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DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s controlling behaviour pushed me into the arms of his attractive greatest mate.
Now I don’t know who I need to be with.
I discovered a person I’m joyful to be with however my husband will not prefer itCredit score: Alamy
Get in contact with Deidre at present
My group and I are working safely from dwelling however we’re right here that can assist you as at all times.
We’ve been having issues in our marriage for the previous couple of years.
He’s 52 and I’m 43. We used to have a unbelievable relationship till he had a minor coronary heart assault two years in the past.
He modified after that and now he hates me going out alone. Once I do, he doesn’t communicate to me for days.
His greatest good friend acquired divorced final 12 months and now lives along with his aged father within the subsequent village. He’s 49.
We began socialising generally and one night time final 12 months I had so much to drink and we ended up kissing, out of sight of my husband and his dad.
He now needs me to depart my husband and be with himCredit score: Alamy
We then met a couple of instances when my husband was at work. It progressed to us having steamy intercourse and I lastly felt liberated.
We managed to see each other often throughout lockdown.
After lockdown lifted, my husband went to go to his mother and father in Scotland for a fortnight.
Our daughter had simply had her first child so I stayed dwelling.
His good friend came to visit every single day and we had a beautiful time.
He needs me to depart my husband and for us to maneuver away collectively however I don’t assume I might abandon my daughter and grandson.
My husband has began planning our twenty fifth wedding ceremony anniversary celebration for subsequent 12 months however I don’t even know if I need to be with him any longer.
I’m so sad, although I really feel I ought to make it work with him for the household’s sake.
He is a good dad and and first rate man. I simply can’t assume straight. His mate is on my thoughts 24/7.
Matter 4 at present
HAVING completely different intercourse drives is the most typical sexual downside for {couples}.
It may be a real organic distinction however may additionally masks different points similar to one associate watching pornography or feeling used.
My e-leaflet on Completely different Intercourse Drives provides self-help
He’s upbeat and optimistic concerning the future whereas my husband can get very down and moody, although he by no means was once earlier than his coronary heart assault.
He has pushed me away along with his perspective. I can’t think about that is how our lives can be eternally and I simply need to be at liberty.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your husband’s controlling behaviour doesn’t excuse you dishonest however feeling liberated after years of being restrained would really feel like a much-needed tonic.
Writing off your marriage would come at a value – your loved ones would by no means see you an identical approach once more.
Nevertheless, you shouldn’t sacrifice all hopes of happiness for his or her sakes.
Inform your lover you aren’t going to see him whilst you resolve your points together with your husband by some means.
He’s nonetheless the identical first rate man he’s at all times been however his perspective is making you depressing.
You aren’t doing him any favours by not confronting him about it.
He has recovered bodily from his coronary heart assault however could now be struggling with melancholy.
He wants to listen to how you’re feeling and be keen to make adjustments. Encourage him to see his physician.
My e-leaflet Torn Between Two Males? will assist you to sort out your confusion and in the end determine what you do need for the long run.
NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE I lost trust in my wife after she flirted with ex-boyfriend in front of me
READ DEIDRE’S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Amanda’s landlord finds out she is keen on more than just sex
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