DEAR DEIDRE: MUM thinks she is entitled to give her opinion on how we parent our autistic son but she has enraged my wife, who is now threatening to ban her from visiting.
I’m 43 and she is 42. Our son is ten and struggles in any social environment, often hitting out at me in frustration.
Mum thinks she is entitled to give her opinion on how we parent our autistic son but she has enraged my wife
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My mother, 76, told my partner she should discipline my son so that he stops hitting me.
My wife snapped and said her parenting advice was not welcome.
Now I’m stuck between a furious wife and an upset mother.
We both work really hard and take it in turns looking after our son at home.
But my wife feels my mother is judging her for not taking on more of the childcare.
She has even started to accuse me of letting my mum walk all over us.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s encouraging that you and your wife have a good routine worked out when it comes to taking care of your son – this is the most important dynamic within this scenario and you have done well to achieve this.
Talk to your mum and explain that while you recognise she was well-meaning, her contributions were easily interpreted as criticism.
Remind her that taking care of your son is stressful and you both need her non-judgmental support.
You can get more advice from familylives.org.uk (0808 800 2222).